Flirting is the way most people determine whether or not a member of
the opposite sex is interested in them. Following is a quick outline on
how you should go about the complex, sometimes fun, sometimes not so
fun, task of flirting. It all beings with your approach.
The Approach
One person approaches the other. They move into closer physical
proximity. This much is clear: NO approach equals NO possibility of
initiating contact. You must approach!
Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a coffee shop, or a man
stands near a woman in a dance club. This is the first step. Once you
approach, you begin looking for the signs.
The Signs
The person who has been approached will always signal the other’s
presence in some way…a sign. This signal is not like a train whistle,
however, more a subtle body language which you can learn to recognize.
For example, he or she simply may look up, move over to make room, nod
slightly, or signal with a glancing eye contact.
A display of total obliviousness to the one who is approaching
generally indicates lack of interest altogether. Don’t be discouraged.
But if the one you approached shows absolutely no interest, then it’s
time to re-group and try again. But let’s say the approach works. You
have your positive acknowledgement, now what? Time to talk
The Verbal Exchange
The two people may then engage in a mild verbal exchange about
impersonal, unimportant matters such as the weather or the scene around
them. The key word here is MILD.
This is the classic place for the clever "line," but
cleverness is not required. At this point, a verbal exchange is not for
the purpose of sharing valuable insights about life or determining
philosophical compatibility. It is just a vehicle to further the
developing contact.
Examples: Verbal overtures might include anything from "please
pass the pickles" to "your looking great tonight", to
"have you seen the waitress?". Without some form of verbal
response, it is highly unlikely that the next step will occur. Let’s
say all is going as planned. Time for body language.
Body Language
Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to talk may also begin
to orient themselves physically to one another, to turn toward one
another until, if all is goes well, they are fully facing one another.
This is your goal.
This step can take minutes or hours . . . or weeks or months . . . to
achieve. Yet, without this physical reorientation toward one another,
not very much can ever happen, so give up on people who turn their back
toward you for long periods of time! But if they don’t…
Touching
The woman or the man (most often the woman) touches the other in a
light, fleeting way. Examples: A couple might accidentally brush their
hands against one another while reaching for a drink, or the woman might
pat the man on the arm in the middle of a shared joke. The exchange of
very subtle, almost glancing touches may continue for some while, and if
all goes well, can escalate into the casual affections shown by couples
who are dating. If you’ve reached this point, then flirting has now
become the beginning of a relationship. The Art of Flirting should
always end with the beginning of a relationship. Now get out there and
flirt.
The Art of Flirting is really the Art of making first contact. You
only have one shot at making a great first impression. By following some
of the guidelines we’ve established in this article, you should now be
equipped to locate, approach, and ascertain whether or not your subtle
flirting has opened the doors to a new and exciting relationship.
My name is Joe Vetromile, and I’m an author/screenwriter living in
So. California. I’ve written hundreds of articles on the subjects of
flirting, dating and breaking-up. Besides having first hand experience
with all three, my research on the art of dating confirms to me that
while the ritual of hooking up with a soul-mate may be arduous at times,
the end result of finding that perfect someone to share the rest of your
life with, is well worth the effort.
Joe Vetromile writes for DrDating – a web site for anyone looking
for love online. We have hundreds of articles, E-Books and links to some
great dating and love sites all over the world. DrDating also offers
reviews of some of the most popular dating sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com